Midnight Hijinks
by CheshireGirl0913
Summary: AVPM-Universe. Chessy, Riley and Marcus are invited to a party at Hogwarts for New Years Eve hosted by none other than Harry Potter. What could ensue with butterbeer, challenges and, oh, when someone accidentally invites Voldemort? Rated T for later drunken activity and swearing.
1. 6:00 PM

**In honor of New Year's and AVPSY, I've written this insane tale of craziness. This story shall go hour by hour until just after midnight, starting at six '0 clock in the evening. Let's how much trouble these guys can get into at that time.**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

You would think that since it is the holidays, most of the students at Hogwarts would be gone. Well, my friendly reader, you would be wrong, for on New Year's, these kids party like nothing you've never seen before!

_Knock-knock_.

"Herman!" Ron yelled, his eyes glued to a television screen. "Go get the door!"

"Why do I need to get it? Harry, you're hosting this party, shouldn't you be the one to welcome your guests?"

"Not now, Hermione," Harry yelled. "I'm trying to beat Ron at Guitar Hero!" Sighing, Hermione opened the door to see Chessy, Riley and Marcus in the doorway.

"Hey guys!"

"Hey, Hermione!" Riley exclaimed, hugging the witch.

"We brought the Fun Dip," Marcus said, pulling out the bag.

Chess pulled out her own bag of treats, "And the RedVines!"

Ron and Harry stopped and stared at the bag in Chessy's hands, beaming, "REDVINES!" Within moments, they jumped the poor Authoress, fighting for a RedVine.

Marcus walked over to the Headmaster, "Watsup, Dumbledore!"

"Marcus," Dumbledore said, giving him a classic bro-hug, "Nice to see ya! How's one of my favorite students?"

"Feelin' good, feelin' good! You wouldn't happen to know where the butterbeer is around here, wouldja?"

Dumbledore stared at him, appalled, "Now, young man, what kind of Headmaster would I be if I allowed substances like that into Hogwarts?"

"… The smartest, most awesomest, practical-."

"Beautiful," Chessy added, appearing from nowhere before returning to the RedVine fight.

"-Beautiful wizard in the whole world?" After a moment of silence, Dumbledore laughed.

"That's my boy! Here." He tossed him a bottle. "Just don't try to have more than five, you see weird things when you drink that much."

Riley stepped into the conversation, "How much does it take to get you drunk?"

"WELL….Two, maybe three. It depends on how much your stomach can handle."

"Is it any good?" Marcus asked.

"Try it! See for yourself!" Marcus took a sip and his face suddenly lit up like a Christmas tree.

"OHMYGOODNESSTHISISSOAWESOME!" Marcus downed the rest and took off to get another.

The Headmaster turned to Riley and Hermione, "Is he always like that?"

"Yup," Chessy said from behind them, her clothes ripped and her hair a mess. "Whenever that boy has any type of energetic intake, he'll go nuts."

"What happened to you?"

"Just… never bring RedVines to a party where Harry Potter or Ron Weasley is present." In fact, she was also covered in punch, cupcake frosting and corn chips were peeking out from her hair.

"Want us to help you get cleaned up?" Riley asked.

"Sure." Hermione walked with them to the nearest bathroom.


	2. 7:00 PM

Chessy, Riley and Hermione emerged from the bathroom. Chessy was now finally cleaned up thanks to Hermione's expert Clorox spells. And of course, the first thing that they heard was loud, roaring screams.

"What's going on out here?" Hermione yelled. That's when they saw it. In the doorway, somehow in full body form, was Voldemort.

"And me!"

…And Quirrel.

"Blimey!" Seamus yelled. "What the hell is he doing here?!"

"I got an invite, Potter," Voldemort said. "So I came."

"Wha-?!" Harry exclaimed. "I never sent you an invite!"

Neville stuttered, "Well… I m-m-might've…."

Everyone in the room glared at him, "NEVILLE!"

"I'm s-s-sorry! I must've accidentally sent it to him instead of that other guy!"

"What other guy?" Riley asked. Neville pulled out the list of invitees and Marcus began reading from it.

"Someone named Joe Walker." They all shrugged with confusion and returned their attention to their unwelcome guests.

"Quick, get your wands ready and shoot stun spells at them!" Lupin yelled from across the room.

"YEAH!" The students cheered, prepping the stun the Dark Lord.

"Wait! Wait!" Quirrell stepped in front of Voldemort, who was standing there sheepishly. "He's really changed guys! He's really nice now!"

"Prove it!" Ron yelled. The next moment was very unexpected. Even though it was kinda awesome, it was still really weird.

Before everyone's eyes, Voldemort and Quirrell kissed.

There were mixed reactions, all unnoticed by the kissing couple. Most of the guests, including Harry, Riley and Ron were cringing. Some, like Luna, thought it was actually really sweet. If you were Marcus or Chessy, however, you would've just thought of it as nothing but proof of their honesty.

"Good enough for me!" Chessy exclaimed. "Welcome to the party, Voldy!"

After a few moments or drinking and socialization, cheering suddenly emerged from one end of the room.

"What the-?" Voldemort exclaimed.

"Hey guys, look!" Ginny yelled. "Someone brought a piñata!"

"That's right," Lupin said, carrying it in. It was a puny thing, a green dinosaur with a yellow belly and a stupid complextion. "Now we don't have any string, so I say we just crush all the candy out in other ways."

"YEAH!" The students cheered again, hopping to their feet to see the piñata empty out it's candy.

"Are there any Reeses in that dinosaur?" Chessy asked.

Ron grabbed it and started shaking it violently, "Tell us what's inside you!" No reply.

"Let me see that, Ron," Lupin said with a smile, "I'm going to pretend it was that guy I saw at the Hog's Head last night."

"Last night?" Marcus wondered. Lupin ignored the response as he prepped to hit it.

Quirrell stood up, "I'll hold it if you promise not to hit me." Lupin nodded as Quirrell held it up into the air.

"This is for taking up all the dance floor!" Lupin lifted his leg, ninja-style, and swung it at the dinosaur… but it left no damage. Riley grabbed an umbrella from a can near the door and started poking it.

"Y'know that's not going to do any damage," Chessy stated out loud.

Riley gave her a goofy look as Quirrell placed it on the coffeetable. "Shaddup."

"Stand aside boys." Malfoy emerged from the back of the room, his colleagues, Crabbe and Goyle, beside him. "I'll handle this." He stared at the piñata dinosaur and suddenly kicked it so hard that it slammed against the wall, but not breaking it.

"Let me try," Ginny smiled, also kicking it into a wall, but still not breaking it.

Ron picked it up and with a loud roar, he threw it at the wall, causing some damage, but not enough to release the candy goodness inside.

Dumbledore picked it up as Lupin stared at it, "That's the most resilient piñata I've ever seen."

Chessy glanced at Voldemort, "Voldy, finish it please!"

"I don't know if I can," he said.

"Try it," she responded smiling.

Voldemort looked at the umbrella Riley was holding, "Can I see that?"

"Sure." She tossed it to him and walked over to the piñata. He grabbed it on the arm as Dumbledore held it up, holding it steady. He aimed it in between its eyes, causing groans to emit from the crowd. With a quick lunge, he thrusted the umbrella into the beast…

…Causing it to go into its left eye and through the back of its head. Everyone cheered.

"And now for the best part," Ron exclaimed, looking at Harry.

"ZOMBIE TIME!" The boys grabbed the piñata, along with Malfoy, Seamus, Dean and some others and tore at it, growling loudly and making zombie noises. Finally, it was open.

Lupin poured its contents out for everyone to find it only contained Sugar Babies, Dum-Dums, Sweet Pops, Bubba Gum and miscellaneous gumballs.

"Well," Chessy began, "Was it worth it you guys?" Many shook their heads.

"There's no chocolate or Reeses," Malfoy groaned.

"On the bright side," Ron began, a cherry Dum-Dum in his mouth, "I think we all learned a lesson today." They all stared at him, including Hermione, who was surprised that Ron actually learned something. "There's a reason the dinosaurs are extinct."

* * *

**Yes, this entire chapter was mainly inspired by a Starkid Challenge called "Starkids vs. the Pinata". It felt right for the occasion :)**


	3. 8:00 PM

"Alright, fellas!" Harry exclaimed, "It's karaoke time!" Many of the party-goers cheered, while a few groaned.

"Goyle can't sing!" Goyle groaned.

"Aw, c'mon, Goyle!" Chessy smiled, "It's just for fun. No talent necessary!"

"But it makes you more awesome," Ron replied.

"Exactly."

"M-May I try?" Neville asked nervously.

Harry was about to hand him the microphone, but Ron pulled him aside, "Nuh-uh, I don't want this party ruined by Schlongbottom!"

"C'mon Ron," Harry said, "It's New Year's! Let's just humor him." He tossed the microphone. "Here ya go, Neville!"

Neville grinned, "Oh, thank you, Mr. Potter!" Everyone in the room watched as he began singing his song:

"_I have often dreamed,_

_Of a far-off place,_

_Where a hero's welcome,_

_Will be waiting for me._

_Where the crowds will cheer,_

_When they see my face,_

_And a voice keeps saying,_

_This is where I'm meant to be…."_

"Wow," Chessy whispered to Riley. "He's really good!"

"Yeah, who knew the quiet one had the nerve?" They were suddenly shushed by Luna, Lavender and Cho, who were gawking like they were watching Zac Efron take his shirt off.

"_I will find my way,_

_I can go the distance,_

_I'll be there someday,_

_If I can be strong._

_I know every mile,_

_Will be worth my while._

_I would go most anywhere to feel like I belong…."_

* * *

"_We are never, never, never…getting back together!_" A couple hands clapped as Ginny walked off the stage. Chessy rubbed her temples. That song was now going to be stuck in her head all night unless something else should happen.

Harry looked up at her, "Hey, Chessy, why don't you give us a song?"

"I don't know, guys," She groaned, the Taylor Swift song playing on a continuous loop in her head.

"C'mon mate!" Seamus yelled.

"Yeah, you didn't win singing competitions over nothing," Riley grinned. The song was getting louder. She had to find an antidote and fast. She thought of the first catchy song in her head.

She looked at Harry, "Gimme that mic." He handed it to her and she whispered the name of the song in his ear. The music blasted into the room as she began singing:

"_Right, right, turn off the lights,_

_We're gonna lose our minds tonight,_

_What's the dealiyo?_

_I love when it's all too much,_

_Five AM turn the radio up,_

_Where's the rock and roll?_

_Party crasher,_

_Panty snatcher,_

_Call me up if you a gangsta._

_Don't get fancy just get dancy_

_Why so serious?_

_So raise your glass if you are wrong,_

_In all the right ways,_

_All my underdogs,_

_We will never be, never be,_

_Anything but loud,_

_And nitty gritty,_

_Dirty little freaks._

_Won't you come and come on._

_And raise your glass,_

_Just come on and come on,_

_And raise your glass…!"_

* * *

Once Cho was done with her rendition of "Oops I Did It Again", many others started going up and doing songs. Hermione belted "Defying Gravity" to the point where someone had to slap both Ron and Malfoy to get them back to reality. Quirrell sang a random song from a parody musical that no one had really heard of called "Me and My (bleep)"…. What? I can't type that on "T" rating? …Fine!

Anyway, after almost an hour of this, Lupin and Voldemort had just finished their rendition of "To Be A Man" from another parody musical ("Lupin, _can_ sing?" Ron later asked.). Chessy's eyes caught Serverus Snape, drinking butterbeer in the corner.

"I say that we choose a song for our favorite Potions Master!" The room cheered as Snape was abruptly pushed towards the karaoke machine. Harry's eyes lit up as he looked through the song selection.

"Oh… yes. This is it." Ron and Chessy peeked over his shoulder and started laughing.

"Yes!" Ron exclaimed.

Chessy started getting jumpy, "Do it! Do it! Do it!" Harry popped in the CD and Snape saw the name light up on the screen.

He glared at the boy wiz-kid, "Potter!"

"Have some fun for once, Snape!" Riley yelled from the couch. Glaring at the girl, he began:

"_I'm too sexy for my shirt,_

_Too sexy for my shirt,_

_So sexy it hurts._

_I'm too sexy for Milan,_

_Too sexy for Milan,_

_New York and Japan._

_I'm a model,_

_You know what I mean,_

_And I do my little turn on the catwalk,_

_On the catwalk,_

_On the catwalk, yeah,_

_And I do my little turn on the catwalk…."_

As he continued, Snape got more into it and everyone else in the room started cheering and dancing. Snape grinned at the students. They thought he was cool! Maybe that Potter kid really wasn't all bad.


	4. 9:00 PM

"Are you s-s-s-sure we should do this?" Neville asked, holding an open packet of sugar in his hand.

"Sure!" Chessy exclaimed. "I didn't snag all these from Denny's for nothing!" She looked around to the other students. "Ready guys!" Cheering came from the rest of the group. "One! Two! THREE!" In seconds, the students involved poured the contents of the packet into their mouths.

"Man, I love sugar shots!" Harry yelled.

"Except for the gritty feeling you kinda get afterwards, but hey, it's cool!" She was going to get up and get some punch when Marcus suddenly dropped on top of Chessy.

"Hey guys…Great party, huh?"

Riley gave him an odd look, "Yeah… Are you okay?" Chessy spotted the bottle in his hand and yanked it away. It was empty.

"How many of these have you had already?" She asked, on the verge of panicking.

He counted dizzily with his fingers, "Dum… Three?"

She facepalmed, "Oh great."

Riley started walking towards the food table, "I'm gonna get him some water."

"I'll make sure he doesn't do anything stupid!"

"Okay!" Marcus browsed around and then suddenly spotted a guitar near a piano. He started stumbling away.

"Marcus, get back here!" Marcus grabbed the guitar and started playing… and to Chessy's surprise it sounded like normal guitar playing. "Okay, good. As long as you just play guitar until you start having a hangover, things will be fine…."

"Hey Chess!" She turned to see Ron behind her. "Voldemort's doing a tap routine with Snape!"

"Awesome!" Chessy chased after him, leaving her drunken friend to his guitar.

Seamus noticed this, "Playin' Harry Potter's guitar, eh?" No response. "Want another butterbeer?"

"Sure."


	5. 10:00 PM

"I know it took me ridiculously long to get this water, but-!" Riley stopped herself seeing Marcus on the floor, several more bottles of butterbeer on the floor. "Oh geez… CHESSY!"

She spotted her best friend emerging from another room with some of the students.

"Okay," Chessy said to Dean, "Even you have to admit, _that_ was pretty awesome."

"I don't think I've ever seen a man tap dance like that in my whole life," Cho said, appearing very flustered.

"Cho, he's taken." That seemed to kill her thunder as she blushed and stomped away. Chessy would've continued the discussion if she wasn't grabbed by Riley. "Ow. What? What did I do?" Riley pointed at Marcus and she automatically understood. "Oh…."

"I leave you alone for an hour and this is what happens?!"

"I'm sorry, but Voldy was tap dancing! I couldn't miss that! It's like if you had the chance to babysit Rue or Prim from the Hunger Games. You wouldn't pass that up!"

"True, but this is a matter of our drunk friend!" That same drunk friend suddenly stirred, catching the attention of his sober companions.

Marcus moaned, sitting up, "Ugh… what happened?"

"You overdose on the butterbeer," Chessy replied. Marcus stared at her oddly before screaming like a idiot.

"It's the Shadowman! Get away from me!" And with that, he was gone.

"What was that about?"

Hermione approached them, "Remember what Dumbledore said? If you consume enough butterbeer, you start to hallucinate!"

"So it's like the liquid version of crack?"

She shrugged, "More or less."

"So what do we do?" Riley asked.

"The only thing we can do," Chessy began, pulling out a giant butterfly net as if from nowhere. "We're gonna get him back."


	6. 11:00 PM

Harry and Ginny stood together, holding hands.

"I'm having a great time, Ginny."

She blushed, "Me too, Harry Potter."

"And I can't wait for that midnight kiss."

"Neither can I," she said with a giggle. Suddenly, Hermione pulled Harry away from his girlfriend.

"What the hell, Hermione!"

"Marcus is missing, Harry!" She screamed. "I need everyone searching for him!"

He groaned, "Fine. But you realize that I'm missing valuable time with my girlfriend for this!"

They took off as Ginny stood there, confused.

"Have you checked everywhere?" Riley asked.

"We can't find him!" Ron yelled.

Harry wasn't happy either, "Yeah, and I've accidentally walked in on Malfoy taking a dump while looking for that guy!" He looked at Chessy, "You're a Hufflepuff so you should be able to _find_ him somehow!"

Chessy shrugged, "Well, the only place we haven't checked is this room!" She pointed at an unopened door and then realize what she just said. She opened it to find something maybe more or less shocking than Voldemort and Quirrell kissing.

It was Cho and Lupin making out on a bed… And their shirts were off.

Everyone stared wide-eyed as Chessy shut the door.

"That was something I would've lived the rest of my life fine without seeing," Chessy responded.

"Me too," Harry and Ron said in unison. Feeling nothing more should be discussed, they all resumed their search.

Chessy stood out on the balcony, trying to get fresh air. Riley approached her from behind.

"Maybe we should just cut our losses," Riley said. "We'll find him in the morning."

"We can't stop looking for him. We couldn'tve gone far!" A groan filled their ears.

"You don't think…." They looked up and saw a very hung-over Marcus on the roof.

"Marcus!"

"Ugh…" He moaned, "Where am I?" He looked around him, noticing the roof tiles. "How did I get here?"

"We'll explain later."

"I'll go get Dumbledore," Riley said walking away, "And don't either of you run off this time!"

The two stayed where they were, just staring at one another.


	7. 12:00 AM

"Alright kiddies," Dumbledore grinned. "It's almost midnight! Get ready to plant a wet one!" The Headmaster walked over to the three kids. Marcus had recovered with a quick alcohol drain spell and now had an ice pack on his head.

"Thanks for the help, Dumbledore," Chessy said.

"Eh, no problem. This is something you usually see at parties like this so I'm used to it. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to have a talk with a very special friend…."

"Hagrid, always a great guy."

"Not him, Hufflepuff…. A very special potions master." He walked away, leaving Riley with a confused look on her face.

She had to ask, "Is he-?"

"Yup," Chessy nodded.

"Wow…. I've got nothing to say."

Harry's voice rang out, "Thirty seconds 'til midnight!"

"Hey," Chessy asked, "What are your New Year's Resolutions?"

"Probably just to work on my art more," Riley replied.

"Focus more on work and stuff," Marcus answered. "You?"

"Meh," Chessy thought aloud, "Probably eat healthier, work harder and try to publish better stories in a more timely manner than this one."

"Ah. Well, that's how it goes."

"Ten second countdown!"

"FIVE! FOUR! THREE! TWO! ONE! HAPPY NEW YEAR!" The skies of Hogwarts exploded with fireworks. Phones were going off, filling people's inboxes with New Year texts. This went on for about five minutes until….

"So…uh, what exactly did I do while under the influence?" Marcus asked.

Chessy looked and Riley before finally responding, "I don't think you wanna know."

"Try me."


	8. Epilogue: 7:30 AM

Chessy, Riley and Marcus were standing in the doorway with Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny on the other side.

"Great party!" Marcus said.

"What do you expect?" Chessy chuckled. "It's Harry Frickin' Potter!"

Harry smiled, "Yeah, but I wouldn't be able to handle it without these guys." He put his arms around their shoulders, planting a quick kiss on his girlfriend.

"How do you think Neville's feeling since he kissed Luna last night?" As if on cue, a thump was heard and they all saw Neville on his back on the floor, looking as if he was in a daze.

"Well," Riley uttered, "That answers that."

Ron scoffed, "I have never seen Schlongbottom look so…so…."

"So much like you when you first kissed Hermione?" Ginny giggled. Her brother turned angrily to her.

"How do you know about that?!"

"So…" Hermione began, "Same time next year?"

"Sure!" Chessy smiled. "But I am not bringing the Red Vines." This emitted a whine from the two male Gryffindors. "My life is not worth a package of licorice!" They gasped.

Ron glared at her, "Are you serious?! I'd kill for a pack of licorice!"

Riley decided to diffuse the situation, "So if Harry had some, you'd kill him for it?"

"Wouldn't have to! We're best friends so he'd _share_. Right, Harry?"

Harry shook his head, "Actually, no. I'd keep the Red Vines." The red-heads and brunette stared at him in shock. The other three friends looked at each other and realized the obvious thing to do.

Chessy spoke up with a smile, "Gotta blast!" And within seconds, the trio was gone.

"HARRY POTTER!"

"What? I was just kidding! Of course, I'd share them with Ron. I'd just be hiding them from him for a while." The friends grinned at each other and embraced. They were pretty dysfunctional, but they knew that was just what got them through all these years together.

* * *

**Even I admit, this wasn't my best. It was a challenge though, so for that I at least feel accomplished. Happy 2013! May your year be totally awesome and full of incredible adventure!**


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